


All The World's A Stage

by Yourfriendlyneighborhoodpanda



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roman has Low Self-Esteem, Underage Drinking, slowburn, working parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-10-13 18:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourfriendlyneighborhoodpanda/pseuds/Yourfriendlyneighborhoodpanda
Summary: Roman Baretta was determined to make a name for himself his junior year. He was over hiding in the background and letting others step all over him. With a new school, new style, and new attitude, he's ready to take on the challenges of high school with his head held high.Or so he thinks.Roman isn't new to acting, but he is new to actually performing in front of other people. Despite his best efforts, he finds himself falling back into old habits as he struggles to keep his head above water as to not alarm his new friends.After all, if All the world is a stage, then how can they tell if he's acting?





	1. Prologue

_A young Roman gazed in awe as he watched the performance from his mother’s side. A group of students had put on a play in the park he normally played at. The story was that of a prince going on a quest to save his kingdom. Roman watched with apt attention as the prince battled a fearsome creature, his own tiny mind making it look as though there were truly a fire breathing dragon soaring through the sky, the people of the park stumbling around in an attempt to hide. He watched as the beast was terrifically slain, the town finally safe as they cheered for their savior. In that moment, Roman wanted nothing more than to be the prince standing on the stage, to help people and to be loved by those he saved. He made a vow, right then, that that would be him some day. He was sure of it._

_“Mommy, mommy,” he said, tugging at her hand to gain her attention._

_“Yes, Roman?” she asked, looking to her son._

_“Do you think that I could be a prince someday?” He asked, his bright brown eyes wide with hope. His mother pretended to think for a moment before she kneeled down to look at him._

_“I think, mi pequeño imperio, that you can do anything that you set your mind to,” she said, placing a kiss to his forehead. He smiled brightly, wrapping his mother in a tight hug._

_“Thank you, mama!” he exclaimed. From that day on, there was only one thing that Roman wanted, and he was dead set on getting it._

_The world seemed to take that as a challenge._


	2. Chapter 1

Roman looked at the mirror that hung on his bedroom door. He fixed his longer dark brown hair once again before sighing. It was the first day of his junior year at a new school, and Roman was determined to finally stick out. He wanted to be noticed and liked, so he decided to change his appearance into something a little more eye catching. He had let his hair grow out during the summer so that it now sat just above his shoulders. He traded out his baggier clothes for skinny jeans and tight-fitting shirts. To tie it all together, he wore a high collared red jacked, which he had to say brought out his caramel colored eyes that much more. Still, Roman huffed out a sigh. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his new look; he actually thought he looked rather good. He just wasn’t used to it.

Back at his old school, he had been quite the target for the bullies. He was quiet and insecure, but Roman was determined to finally stand out and make a name for himself at this new school. Glancing at the clock, he heaved a sigh and then picked up his backpack before heading towards the door. It was a fairly long walk from his house to the school, so if he didn’t get going he would be late.

When Roman finally approached the campus, he paused. Other students milled around the courtyard, meeting up with the friends that they hadn’t seen all summer. The air was filled with the sounds of laughs and chatter as people happily recounted their summers. With a deep breath, Roman walked across the field to the front doors with his head held high and a charming smile on his face. Some people stopped and watched him go by, but he didn’t let that deter him. He made his way to the front office and stopped in front of the desk lady.

“Hello there, how can I help you?” she asked.

“My name is Roman Baretta, I’m a new student,” Roman replied, careful to keep his voice steady and clear. All summer he had been practicing getting rid of his nervous stutter that always came out when he talked to new people. He still had it, but he had become much better at controlling it. After all, he was an actor.

“Oh of course, welcome to Sanders High, if you could wait just a moment I’ll get you your schedule and call someone down to show you around.” Roman nodded and moved to the side as he watched the lady move around and picked up the phone. After a few seconds she hung up and moved to the printer where a single piece of paper was waiting. She grabbed the paper and then motioned Roman over.

“This here is your schedule,” she said and right after someone came flying through the door. It was a boy with shaggy, curly red hair that framed his freckled face. He had sky blue eyes that shone with joy behind thick framed black glasses. Roman was slightly surprised to see that he was wearing a sky-blue polo with a grey sweater tied around his shoulders and khaki shorts. To each their own, Roman thought.

“And this is your guide, Patton Hart. Patton, this is our new student, Roman Baretta,” the lady continued, turning to the boy- Patton.

“Hey Val!” Patton exclaimed, a bright smile lighting up his already cheerful face, “and hello Roman, it’s nice to meet you!” he said and practically skipped over to Roman and wrapped him in a tight hug. For a second Roman froze, unused to any kind of human contact that wasn’t violent, but after a second, he relaxed. Hugs were actually kind of nice.

“Oh, hello Patton. It’s, uh, nice to meet you too,” Roman said, cursing the small bit of stuttering that had gotten out. Patton finally released him from the hug and gave him another smile.

“C’mon, let’s go! I’ll show you around and help you find your classes! Can I see your schedule?” Patton asked. Roman handed over the piece of paper in his hand which Patton quickly swiped. His eyes quickly scanned the page.

“Oo!” he exclaimed, “we have lunch and British Lit together! Looks like you have art first thing though. C’mon, I’ll show you where it is!” Patton took hold of Roman’s hand before happily skipping off tugging Roman along. He couldn’t help the small smile that graced his face at Patton’s antics. How could anyone be that cheery, especially that early in the morning? Either way, he had to admit it was a refreshing change to what he was used to.

Eventually Patton came to a stop outside of a wooden door covered in beautifully painted swirling designs. Once again Roman was startled by Patton wrapping his arms around him in a hug.

“Well Kiddo, this is where I leave you. I don’t want to _draw_ this out, but I’d be _paint_ ed to not see you off on your first day. I hope you make _palette_ nty of friends here.” Roman couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped him at Patton’s puns.

“Thank you,” he said. Patton just smiled.

“Good luck, I’ll see you in British Lit!” Patton threw him a wave as he started making his way to his own first class. Roman was a little surprised to still find a smile on his own face. Maybe this place really wouldn’t be that bad.

When he walked into the art room, he noticed that there weren’t that many kids in there yet. Two girls sat near the front, a small cluster huddled in the middle, and in the back, there was a boy sitting as close to the window as he could possibly manage. He wore a black and purple jacket with the hood pulled up and over his head with his hands tightly fisted in the jacket pocket. As Roman stared, intrigued, the guy looked up and caught Roman’s eye. He noticed the layer of black eyeshadow that sat underneath tired eyes that were also adorned with a thinner layer of makeup. The boy glared and Roman quickly turned his gaze away feeling his face flush at being caught staring. He hurried to a seat on the opposite side of the classroom and tried not to look back, though he could feel the gaze of the other burning into his back. Just wonderful.

Roman bolted from the room as soon as the class finished only to find himself running straight into someone else. He started to apologize but heard a light giggle and so he paused only to look up and find that it was Patton that he had run into.

“Gee Ro, you may wanna slow down there. What’s got you so worked up?” Patton asked. Roman merely turned just in time to see the boy exiting the classroom. His eyes followed until he heard Patton laugh again.

“Oh, is that all? That’s just Virgil, he can sometimes look really intimidating but he’s actually just a sweet child. He couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“I didn’t- I’m not scared of him! I think I just upset him because he glared at me so, yeah,” Roman tried to amend.

“Virgil glares at everyone, kiddo. I don’t think its anything personal. Now c’mon, I’ve got to show you to your next class! Follow me,” Patton said and started pulling him down the hall. Roman just let himself be tugged along.

He didn’t see Patton again until British lit rolled along, and in there they had a seating chart so he didn’t get the chance to talk to him much. By the time lunch came, he had no idea where Patton was and he was left to stand in the middle of the cafeteria like an idiot. He did spy the boy from art- Virgil- but he noticed that he was actually sitting with someone that Roman couldn’t see because their back was turned to him. In the end he was stuck sitting on the outer edges at the only empty table there was left. He wished he knew where Patton was so that he didn’t look like a loser by himself, but he also knew that it wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t made anymore friends.

Hopefully the rest of the day would change that.


	3. Chapter 2

As soon as the bell signaled the end of lunch, Roman pulled out his schedule to find out what was next and couldn’t help the wave of joy that washed over him. It was finally time for theater, the one class that Roman could actually shine in. With renewed vigor he attempted to navigate the sea of students in the hall to find the classroom. It wasn’t too hard to find, and Roman felt a smile slip onto his face as he entered. Chairs were arranged in a circle in the middle of the room. He took a seat in one and was surprised to find that only a few moments later someone slid into the seat next to him. Roman couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath at who was there.

The guy was slightly taller than Roman with swept back honey colored hair and tan skin. His pale green eyes bored into Roman making him look back down quickly. He had to admit he was very attractive, but he wasn’t exactly his type.

“Hello there, you must be new because I’ve never seen you around before,” he practically purred, “what’s your name?” Roman paused for a second, his brain momentarily malfunctioning.

“Uh-Roman,” he finally got out. The boy flashed him a dazzling smile. 

“Roman. Cute. The name’s Jake, it’s a pleasure.” Did this guy just say his name was…cute? He wasn’t sure how to react to that.

“It’s, uh, nice to meet you too.” It was then that Roman realized that he was acting the way he used to, not how he was supposed to be here. He forced himself to relax and pull himself up, letting his shoulders back and his chest out. He put on his own smile, about to speak to Jake again when he was interrupted. Roman failed to notice that the rest of the seats around him had filled up and the teacher was standing in the middle.

“Welcome, everyone, to theater! My name is Mrs. Dot and I will be your instructor this year. I am very excited to see some new faces this year, as well as those who have been here before. I am sure it is going to be an exciting year, especially because for our first performance this year, I have picked a musical.” Roman heard a chorus of cheers and claps from those surrounding him, though he had to admit that he was just as enthused. A musical would really be his chance to shine and show people just what he could do.

“Alright alright everyone, settle down. Because it is just the first day, I am going to let you all catch up with each other and have a chance to introduce those that are new. We start working tomorrow everyone, so come prepared!” Mrs. Dot stepped out from the circle and immediately everyone was turning to each other and talking. Roman was getting ready to go introduce himself to some people when he felt a hand on his wrist stop him.

“Hey, let me show you around the stage. We have some really cool hidden places that we like to hide in sometimes,” Jake said, tugging on his arm. Roman forced himself not to show any discomfort at Jake’s hand on his arm and instead smiled.

“Sure, lets see it.” Jake flashed a Cheshire like grin and led Roman around the stage. He really wished that Jake would let go, but he didn’t want to say anything lest he ruin any chance he had at making friends. So he let it happen and was silently relieved when class was finally over.

“I’ll see you around Roman. I’m sure this is the start of something really great,” Jake said before leaving. Roman really hoped so, but he couldn’t help but feel unsure as a pit of unease settled in his stomach.

Patton had found him at the end of the day and swiftly said goodbye before speedily saying that he would talk to him more later because he had some after school activities that he had to get to before he was late. Roman chuckled and waved him off before turning and heading for home, mulling over the day in his head as he walked. Patton seemed nice enough, even though Roman was suspicious because no one was ever that nice without motive, but for the time being he let it slide because besides Jake, Patton was the only one that had gone out of his way to talk to him. Speaking of, Jake was definitely a character. Roman wasn’t quite sure what to think of him yet, but he at least he had been friendly with him.

When Roman got home, he opened the door and went in, not bothering to call out. There was no one there to hear him anyways. He ran upstairs and threw his stuff into his room before going back down and turning the speakers on and playing some of his music to fill some of the silence of the place. Roman flopped onto his couch with his phone in his hand and thoughts running through his head. He was mentally scolding himself for the mistakes he had made and the things he had said, but he tried to tune those thoughts out by focusing on the music instead. This was a new year, and he was not going to let himself and his stupid brain ruin that.

At least he hoped so.


	4. Chapter 3

When Roman arrived at school that morning, he noticed Patton waiting by the front doors. Patton’s eyes met his and they lit up upon seeing him. He ran over to Roman and linked their arms together.

“Good morning kiddo! How was your first day? I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to have lunch with you, but sometimes I have to meet with the spirit committee during that time and then I have a bunch of after-school activities so I didn’t get a chance to ask before now so-” Patton was beginning to ramble so Roman quickly held up his hand in an attempt to get Patton to stop and take a breath.

“It’s quite alright Patton. My first day was,” Roman paused, ready to say that it was only okay because nothing had really happened but he stopped himself, remembering that he was supposed to be completely confident and outgoing, “absolutely fabulous! I met a lot of new people and had a blast in my classes. Theater was great, in fact. Our director said that we’ll being doing a musical this year which is right up my alley thanks to my wonderful voice. And one of the kids even offered to show me around the stage and revealed all of the secret nooks and crannies to me!”

“Oh, well that’s great Ro! I’m glad you had a good first day. I wouldn’t want you to be _acting_ about how you’ve been. Ha, get it? Because you were talking about theater?” Roman merely let out a nervous chuckle, but Patton didn’t seem to notice thankfully.

The bell rang signaling the start of the day and so Roman swiftly bid Patton goodbye and started towards his art class. This time when he walked in he avoided looking at Virgil all together and took a seat in the same place he had yesterday. Throughout the entire class he could feel the eyes burning into his back, but he refused to turn around. He didn’t want to make an enemy already, but judging by the look that Virgil through him on the way out of class, it was too late. He didn’t know what possessed him to say what he did, but before he saw Virgil go down the hall, he stepped in front of him.

“Is there a problem, Charlie Frown?” he asked, plastering on his most charming smile.

“Yeah,” Virgil grumbled, “pompous assholes like you. Now get out of my way.” Roman couldn’t help the offended gasp that he let out as his hand flew to cover his chest.

“I will have you know that I am nothing of the sort!” he exclaimed, hiding the hurt that Virgil’s words caused and instead focusing on keeping up his energy. The other merely scoffed.

“Sure, Princey. I know your types. You think that you are so much better than everyone else because of your money and your abilities. I’m not stupid. Now get out of my way,” Virgil growled and blew past Roman, bumping his shoulder on the way by.

“’Twas a pleasure, Dr. Gloom!” Roman shouted after him, but he couldn’t help the frown that formed on his face. He really wasn’t that bad of a guy…was he? He hadn’t even had a proper conversation with the guy, but he was being branded as an asshole. All Roman wanted was to be noticed for his talent on the stage, not for anything else. Well, he would just have to prove Virgil wrong then, and show him that he was more than just an -um- mediocre face.

“Hey, Roman, what’s up? Why don’t you turn that frown upside down!” Patton’s voice came from the side of him making Roman jump a little.

“Oops, didn’t mean to startle you kiddo. But what’s the matter? You’re looking a little _blue,”_ he said, pointing to his polo.

“It’s nothing, Padre. Everything is randy, dandy, and quite grandy,” Roman said with a flourish, turning to face Patton. He was slightly alarmed to find Patton almost in tears but with a growing smile.

“Aww, you called me Padre!” Patton squealed and flung himself at Roman. All Roman could do was laugh and hug the bright boy back.

***

When Roman walked into math that day, he was not expecting to find a boy that was not there yesterday sitting at the desk right by his looking intently up at the board even though the class hadn’t even started yet. He wore round black wire glasses that accentuated his sharp jawline and stormy blue eyes. His raven black hair was styled meticulously, being swept back and away from his eyes. He had pale skin that seemed to shine against the sunlight streaming in through the classroom window. Roman tried to quell the heat that was swiftly rushing to his cheeks when the boy turned to look at him and merely raised an eyebrow for a moment before looking back at the front. He felt his cheeks burn even more at the interaction, so he quickly jerked his head away and tried not to stare at him. Apparently Roman just had a problem with that.

Class started and Roman was once again flabbergasted at the boy’s ability to answer a question almost the moment it came out of the teacher’s mouth. He had an intellect that could rival that of Einstein or Newton, and Roman could not deny that it was incredibly attractive. Too bad he was way out of Roman’s league.

As soon as class was over, Roman bolted from the class in order to avoid Pretty Boy as Roman would call him since he didn’t know his name. Thankfully math was his last class so he was able to leave before he did anything stupid. Patton met him at the gate since he apparently didn’t have any extra-curricular that afternoon so he decided to walk home with Roman. He let Patton talk his ear off about the day as his mind was left to wander.

The minute he got home he said goodbye to Patton and went inside, once again starting up his music and throwing himself on his couch. Mentally he began to run over everything and made a to-do list. First, he needed to find a way to prove to Virgil that while he may be out there and confident, that didn’t make him a bad person. Secondly, he needed to start mingling with more of the students around the school to build up his popularity and reputation. And finally, he really needed to find out what Pretty Boy’s name was.


	5. Chapter 4

Weeks passed and Roman was steadily rising in terms of friends and popularity. Unfortunately, he still hadn’t learned what Pretty boy’s name was. He had made a plan to find him and introduce himself at lunch until he walked into the cafeteria only to discover that the boy Roman had seen sitting with Virgil on his first day was, indeed, Pretty Boy. Immediately Roman stopped in his tracks and instead went to his normal lunch table. He was sure that Virgil had probably told Pretty Boy that he was awful, as that was what Virgil thought. His chances were ruined before he even got them. He had failed in all of his attempts to talk to Virgil in order to prove himself. Of course, his wide array of nicknames may not have helped with that but still! He was trying!

Roman walked into art and once again tried to greet Virgil.

“Good day Count Woe-laf!” he exclaimed, finding it easier and easier to slip into his energetic and confident role. He was expecting another growl or snarky quip from Virgil, but this the boy merely…hissed?

“Did you just…hiss at me?” Roman asked, almost affronted at the fact.

“I do that when I reach my limit with stupid people,” he responded.

“I am merely trying to make polite conversation!”

“Sure, and I hate the color purple. Cut the crap already Princey,” Virgil growled and turned away from Roman, officially ending the conversation. Outwardly he rolled his eyes and went to his seat but internally he sighed. Well then, two could play at that game.

“So Roman, auditions are coming up soon,” Jake said and Roman sat down after getting to theater, “are you planning on trying out?” Roman couldn’t help the grin that overtook him.

“Of course! I’m so excited to be doing a musical and I plan on trying out for the main role!”

“Oh really?” Jake sounded a little surprised, but Roman tried not to focus on that, “I’m actually trying out for the main part too.” Roman’s eyes widened. There was no way he stood a chance against someone with far more talent like Jake going against him. He forced himself to shove down his disappointment and resignation and instead smiled at the boy.

“Well that’s great Jake. I wish you the best of luck in the audition,” Roman forced out, feigning confidence.

“You too Roman. You too.” Roman missed the sly glance that Jake threw his way as he turned to the sound of Mrs. Dot calling the students.

“Everyone can I get your attention please!” Mrs. Dot shouted and the students all quieted down and turned to her. She turned for a brief moment to motion for someone to come from behind her and Roman had to bite his lip to stop his gasp of surprise. Next to her was Pretty Boy, looking as stoic and serious as ever. What was he doing in the theater room?

“Students, some of you may know Logan from previous help he has given us. For those of you that are new, this is Logan Grey and he is our technical director for all of our productions. He is going to be helping me prepare for the upcoming auditions today so you have the rest of this time to practice or talk amongst yourselves. All I ask is that you do so quietly as to not distract us. That is all,” Mrs. Dot announced. Roman found himself unable to look away from Pretty Boy- er, Logan Grey. If he was going to be at the auditions as well as future runs of the paly Roman was sure to mess up. This was the only chance he had to impress the boy since he had no intelligence or looks to capture his attention. Now he would have to push himself to do even better than he was already.

Roman felt color rise to his cheeks as Logan caught his glance and raised an eyebrow. He turned his head away as quickly as possible and tried to will his heating cheeks to cool down.

“Hey Roman, are you alright?” he heard Jake ask from beside him. Roman tried to throw a cautious glance at Logan that didn’t go unnoticed by Jake. Still, he refused to look up from the ground.

“Oh, yes of course. I’m doing great,” Roman replied, cursing the shakiness in his voice. Jake looked to Logan and then back to Roman before a sly smirk formed on his face, a plan steadily growing in his mind.

“Good! Do you wanna go over some lines with me?” he asked. Roman finally looked up.

“Sure, why not,” Roman said, finally getting himself under control. Jake merely grinned and grabbed Roman’s hand to pull him off to a corner of the room.

“Well then let’s get started, huh?”  

…

Roman was sure that he was about to spontaneously combust into great shower of rainbow glitter and insecurities. Auditions were that day and as the time grew closer, he was steadily getting more and more nervous. Patton had decided to accompany him since he had after school clubs again and the boy was starting to pick up on it.

“Aw kiddo, don’t worry! I’m sure you’ll do great out there!” Patton tried to reassure. Roman quickly threw on a flashy smile.

“Oh I’m not worried dearest Pat! I know that there won’t be any competition for me! I’m magnificent.” Roman felt the lie flow through him, internally wincing but not letting anything show outwardly. He knew that he was actually awful and had no talent at all, but he was starting to get really good at the whole pretending thing. Patton gave him a worried smile, his concerned, all aware eyes seemingly gazing straight through Roman. Before he got the chance to try and assuage Patton, his name was called up.

“Good luck kiddo! I’ll be in the seats rootin’ for ya!” Patton called as Roman was whisked to backstage. Everything passed by in an anxiety induced blur and before he knew it, he was being pushed out onto the stage and in front of Mrs. Dot. On the inside he could feel his nerves climbing through him, threatening to choke him and stop him from going. He felt his insecurities bubbling in his head, his worries spilling through his stomach. Roman was almost positive that there was no point in this because he wasn’t and never would be good enough to get cast. And yet, another part of him spoke up.

He felt his love of music swimming through his veins. He felt his dreams of becoming an actor float throughout his chest. He felt the very core of all his hopes and his dreams calling him to just let himself free. To show to the people here, the kids that always bullied him, the ones that mocked and teased him for everything he was that there was a point- that he could do it. To let himself take over and just be.

So he let go.

Roman couldn’t remember any part of his audition in particular. All he could recall was the sweet relief that flowed through his body as he showed what he could do. The sheer joy he got from every note he sang and word he spoke. The proud eyes of Patton as he caught his gaze from the stage.

Before he knew it, it was over and he was making his way out of the room and found himself meeting with Patton in the hallway.

“Kiddo that was amazing! I’m so proud of you! I’d be shocked if you didn’t get a part,” Patton exclaimed, pulling Roman into a hug.

“Thanks Pat, I appreciate it. C’mon, I’ll walk you home,” Roman offered. The two made their way out of the school and down the sidewalk, mindlessly chatting about the day. Little did he know that there was a pair of dark blue eyes trailing after him as he left.

…

“What are you looking at Lo?” Logan most definitely did not jump at Virgil’s sudden question.

“Oh, it was nothing Virgil. I was merely…spacing out,” Logan replied, turning away from the window where a red jacket had just disappeared around the fence.


	6. Chapter 5

“RO! Roororororororororo!” Patton shouted, skidding to a halt just in front of Roman.

“Jeez, Padre. What’s got you all worked up?” Roman asked, stifling a giggle at his friend’s actions.

“Lemme show you! C’mon.” Patton latched onto Roman and started dragging him through the halls only narrowly avoiding the other kids. Patton slid to a stop just outside the theater room, Roman crashing into Patton and only barely managing to keep them both up. Patton laughed at his clumsiness before turning to face Roman. Patton pointed to the board that was hung up outside of the room, practically jittering with excitement. Confused, Roman walked up to the board only to freeze, shock freezing his body in place. The casting list for the musical had been posted.

And there, at the top next to the lead role, was Roman’s name. Utter disbelief flushed through him. It was-there was- how? What?

“What the heckity heck? Five abs in one peck?” Roman questioned.

“You got the role Ro! Oh I’m so proud of you kiddo!” Patton squealed and flung himself at Roman to hug him. Roman didn’t react, still to shocked to believe it.

“I actually…got cast?” There was no way.

“Of course you did! I told you you were amazing at the auditions. There was no question!” Roman went to reply but he was cut off by the sound of the bell.

“Oops, we better get going or we’ll be late kiddo. C’mon, let’s go.”

Patton walked with Roman to the art room where they saw a familiar dark-clad figure coming from the other way. Patton appeared to visibly perk up.

“Virgil! Hey there kiddo!” Patton called out. At this point the three were just across from one another. Roman watched as Virgil froze and looked up.

“Oh, uh, hey Pat.” Roman took a moment to notice that Virgil kept glancing at Patton for just a moment before he turned his gaze to anywhere else. And, if he looked very closely, he could just see the faint hints of rose-colored blush underneath the white foundation. He felt an evil grin grow on his face as he put two and two together. Virgil sent him a glare strong enough to melt ice.

“How have you been? Oo, have you met Roman? You two have a lot in common!” Roman brought his gaze down and Virgil snorted.

“I don’t think so, Pat.” Roman couldn’t help but notice the way that Virgil’s gaze softened ever so slightly when speaking to the guy.

“Well sure you do! You two-” Patton was once again cut off by the sound of the bell.

“Well would you look at that. Sorry Pat but we’ve gotta get to class now. Later,” he rushed out before hurrying into the classroom. Patton looked at where he had gone in, a delicate frown perched on his lips.

“Is he ok? I wonder what that was about?” he mused. Roman let out a snort, hiding his chuckles behind his hand.

“I think he’s quite alright Pat. He’s just come down with a case of the love bug. See you!” Roman waved and entered the classroom himself, leaving behind a very confused Patton in the hall.

Roman slid into the seat beside Virgil, ignoring the way the other glared at him and told him to get lost. Roman let the grin grow on his face instead and turned to fully face him.

“Soooo, you and Patty, huh?” Roman prompted, unable to hide his amusement, “I never would have pegged the resident Emo Nightmare to fall for the school sweetheart.”

“Shut the fuck up Baretta, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Virgil sneered. Roman tried not to let the comment get to him and instead just wiggled his eyebrows at the other.

“Oh? So that wasn’t a blush I saw out there in the hall?” Roman at least had the decency to keep his voice lowered so other people couldn’t hear him. He himself would be mortified if anyone outed his crush to other people.

“You better shut your whore mouth before I shut it for you.” Before Roman could reply, he noticed that the other seemed to be acting a little off. Sure, he was used to Virgil getting defensive, but this seemed…different somehow. Virgil’s breathing seemed shallow and rocky, like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen, and his hands were shaking even though they were clenched on the table. Roman’s eyes widened just the slightest bit.

“Virgil?” Roman tried, softening his voice, “I don’t mean anything by it, truly. In fact, I would actually like to help…” Virgil just raised his eyebrows incredulously, anger and disbelief warring in his eyes.

“Please, don’t give me that bullshit,” Virgil spat out. Roman’s frown grew more. He tried to think of a way to help before Virgil started having a full-on attack.

“Uh- here. Follow my breathing,” Roman said, carefully shifting his back so that the rest of the class couldn’t see. It was clear that Virgil still didn’t believe him, but Roman ignored it in favor of starting the breathing exercise.

“In for four,” he breathed in, tapping on the desk as well, “hold for seven,” he counted in his head, “and out for eight.” Roman continued, but Virgil didn’t actually start until the third time Roman ran through it. Within a few minutes Virgil seemed to calm slightly.

“I learned that tip online as a way to stave off panic before an audition. I just don’t always remember to use it,” Roman said smiling shyly at Virgil as a way to come off as nonthreatening as possible. Still Virgil seemed unsure.

“This means absolutely nothing, Roman, got it?” Virgil huffed out. Roman couldn’t help but be a little disappointed. He let out a soft sigh.

“Of course not, Virgil,” Roman said as he got out of the seat, “good luck with Patton. I hope things go well for you two.” With that, Roman walked back over to his normal seat, ignoring the two eyes boring into his back as he walked away. Maybe he couldn’t be friends with Virgil. Maybe they were just too different. But that didn’t mean that Roman couldn’t do anything to help him. A plan was already forming in his mind.

…

“I refuse to believe this Mrs. Dot!” Jake huffed out angrily, “you gave Roman, the newbie, the lead? I should have gotten it!”

“I can’t say that I’m sorry, Mr. Foth. I believe that Roman is very capable for this role. You, on the other hand, have shown countless times that you cannot work well with others and you are prone to letting big roles go to your head. I’m afraid that I won’t be changing my mind.”

“This isn’t fair! I have far more talent than that hopeless loser! He’ll ruin everything. I demand that you change it!” Mrs Dot’s eyes flashed.

“You cannot and will not demand anything, Mr. Foth. If I hear so much as another peep out of you concerning my choice or anything else and I will have you taken immediately to the principal’s office, am I clear?”

“Crystal,” Jake growled.

…

“Hey Patton, I have an idea.”

“Oh, what is it Ro?” Patton asked, walking alongside Roman as he made his way to theater.

“I was thinking, if you wanted, maybe you could come spend the night at my house,” Roman proposed. Patton’s eyes lit up.

“That’s a great idea Ro! I’d love to! When would you want to do it?” Patton squealed out in excitement.

“Well, if you wanted, I was thinking we could do it tonight?” he suggested.

“Wait, tonight?” Patton asked, hesitating. Roman immediately tried to backpedal, thinking he had overstepped.

“Oh, well, its ok if you don’t want to or if that doesn’t work. I mean, we could always do it another time, sorry I kind of sprung it on you-” Roman started to ramble, unable to stop the flow of words from his lips.

“No no, tonight is fine kiddo, I just want to be sure that its ok. Are your parents ok with you having me over on such short notice? I don’t want you getting in trouble or anything,” Patton said, cutting him off. Roman rushed to brush it off, quickly putting on a charming smile.

“Oh, of course. Don’t worry about that, dearest Pat, I assure you its fine for you to come over. As long as its ok with you,” Roman replied.

“Well in that case, I would love to! Let me just text my parents to let them know.”

“Wonderful!” Roman exclaimed, “I shall see you after school then?”

“Sure thing kiddo!” Patton said and happily skipped away towards his own class.

As Roman entered theater, he was immediately bombarded by a mix of congratulations and well wishes for getting the lead in the musical. Roman thanked them all earnestly, practically glowing in the words of his fellow students. He was grinning so wide it physically hurt his cheeks. When he got the chance, he looked up from the swarm of kids around him and noticed that by the stage was Logan, who seemed to be staring at him. Roman could feel his cheeks starting to redden and quickly looked back down. There was no way that Logan was looking at him, of all people. No, certainly there was something behind him that he hadn’t noticed at first. That made more sense.

Roman was pulled out of his thoughts by a hand on his arm. Looking over revealed Jake, who was grinning tightly at Roman.

“Oh, hey Jake,” Roman greeted nervously, unsure as to why he felt uneasy at the look on the others face. Jake tightened his grip on Roman’s arm.

“Hey Ro. Congratulations on getting the lead. I knew you could do it,” Jake replied easily. Roman tried to give an easy smile but was easily getting distracted by pain erupting from Jake’s vice grip on him.

“Uh, Jake…could you maybe let go. You’re hurting me.” Instantly the pressure and the hand were gone. Roman brought his own up quickly to rub at the sore spot on his flesh.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Roman,” Jake apologized, “I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I could get you some ice?”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it. It’s ok,” Roman eased. Of course Jake didn’t mean it, there was no harm intended. Before Roman could continue, Mrs. Dot’s voice rang out.

“Everyone, the scripts are ready. Please come and grab one so you can begin memorizing!” Roman went to grab a copy of his own. Now that he had a script, he would be sure to practice until he couldn’t get it wrong.


	7. Chapter 6

“Welcome to my humble abode, Patton,” Roman announced as he opened door to his house. He watched as Patton looked around, taking it all in.

It wasn’t a huge house, but it larger than most as his parents made quite a bit of money from their jobs. The furniture was sleek and modern, with wooden grey floors and smooth white walls. Everything else in the house followed the same color scheme, with only a few splashes of red decorations that Roman had placed himself. Upon entering, the kitchen was on the left and the stairs just across from it. Passed the kitchen and stairs was a wide living room. Against the far wall was a grand fireplace made of smooth grey stone with white shelves, the TV resting just above where the fire would be. On either side of it were speakers which Roman typically used to blare his music throughout the typically quiet house. In the middle of the room was the white cushioned couch, with two red throw pillows and a soft gold blanket that Roman had added to it. The coffee table in front of it was empty, save for an open book that Roman hadn’t finished yet.

“Wow,” Patton breathed, “your house is amazing.” Roman chuckled outwardly, but he couldn’t help but disagree with the bubbly boy. Sure, it was big and nice, but to Roman that didn’t mean much. There wasn’t anything special about it, no cozy feel or warm comfort that came when he entered.

It didn’t feel like a home.

“Thanks, but really, don’t be intimidated. C’mon, I’ll show you up to my room,” Roman said, making his way towards the stairs. He could hear Pat following behind him.

“Wait, where are your parents? They know I’m here right?” Patton asked.

“Have no fear, Padre. My parents are at work, and they won’t be back tonight. We have the house to ourselves.” Patton bit his lip but nodded. Roman continued back up the stairs and made his way into his room.

His room was the one place in the house that Roman really felt comfortable in. His walls were covered in a range of posters, from Disney to musicals to books and movies. He had a single red accent wall that had fairy lights strung across it, just above the head of his bed. The red and gold sheets were unmade and strewn haphazardly across the bed. His vanity was a mess of random makeup products, skin care items, and other beauty needs. There was a standing mirror in the corner of the room by the closet, with a pile of clothes in front of it. It was messy, and unorganized, but it was him, and he loved it.

“Sorry its such a mess. I didn’t even think to clean up before I had you come over,” Roman apologized, but Patton just giggled.

“Its ok Ro. I really like your room, it suits you.” Roman couldn’t help but beam silently.

“Well thank you. Anywho, would you like to get this party started?” Patton nodded.

Throughout the evening the two did everything from give each other make overs, gossip, watch movies and more. At that moment, the two were in Roman’s room, sitting on his bed and doing each other’s nails. Their hair was pulled back, face masks resting on each of their faces. Roman was carefully working on Patton’s nails, beginning the second coat of baby blue polish.

“Soo,” Roman started, trying to figure how to bring up what he wanted casually so as to not startle Patton.

“What’s up Ro?” Patton asked, giggling slightly at the feel of Roman’s fingers running over his hand.

“Well, I was just wondering…what do you think of Virgil?” Roman kept his voice even, barely glancing up to catch Patton’s reaction before refocusing on the task at hand. (Ha).

“What do you mean, kiddo? I mean, he’s a really sweet kid, but he just doesn’t get out of his shell very often.”

“Oh, I’m aware. Anyways, I was just thinking, y’know, if you had any romantic inclination, is all,” Roman looked up just in time to see Pat’s cheeks flush a slight red under the mask on him. Roman tried to hide his grin. Bingo.

“Oh, well, I’m not sure what you’re talking about Ro. I mean sure, Virge is sweet, and sensitive, and he cares a lot for others in his own way. And maybe his bright, grey eyes shine like a full moon and his cute little smile could light up an entire room and his dimples are really adorable…” Patton trailed off suddenly, Roman trying to hide his snickers as Patton seemed to realize what he had done. If Patton was red before he was certainly scarlet by that point closing his eyes as he let out a little pout.

“Roooo,” he whined. Roman couldn’t help but let out a full laugh at that, biting his lip to stifle it when Patton tried to glare at him.

“Its not funny,” Patton said.

“Au contraire, mon ami. But why don’t you do something about it?” Roman slyly suggested, thrilled his plan was going wonderfully.

“Oh, come on Ro, be serious. There’s no way someone as amazing as Virgil would be into someone like me.”

“Ok, pause,” Roman started, “first of all, you are absolutely amazing yourself and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Second, I say you go for it. After all, you never know for sure until you try.” Roman went back to painting Patton’s nails, “Plus, I have a pretty good feeling that he’ll say yes.”

“I don’t know,” Patton said, but he looked as though he was considering it, “do you really think I have a chance?” Roman smiled earnestly at him, pausing to squeeze his hands with his own.

“I know you do.” Patton gave him a bright smile and leaped across the bed, pulling Roman into a tight hug. Roman hesitated but quickly hugged the boy back.

“Now that we’ve finished discussing my love life, what about you, Ro?” Patton asked once he got settled. Roman ducked his head.

“Oh, no, there’s no one,” Roman said, probably too quickly. Patton raised his eyebrows.

“Oh really?” Patton persisted, and Roman nodded.

“I’ll find out who it is eventually,” Patton stated.

“I doubt that,” Roman replied, but he knew the other was probably was. After all, he was probably better in tune with Roman’s feelings that he himself was. Roman just had to hope that by the time the weekend was over that Pat would forget.  

It was late by the time the two finally wound down enough to go to bed. Roman had offered to sleep on the floor so that Patton could take the bed, but Patton refused to take it from him. In the end they decided to just share so that they could avoid any arguing. Patton had been sound asleep for a while, but Roman found himself staring at the ceiling, his mind refusing to shut down. Different scenarios and what ifs circled in his head, gnawing at his heart. What if he had read the signs wrong, and setting Patton and Virgil up backfired? The two would hate him, surely- well, Virgil already hated him but he was hoping that Virgil would see that he was really trying to help. But if it all went wrong, then he would mess up the only true friendship he had at the school and destroy any chances he had at becoming friends with Virgil.

And then, of course, he couldn’t stop worrying about the musical. Sure, it was months away and he had plenty of time to prepare, but Roman knew he had a penchant for screwing up. He had been happy- ecstatic even- when he first saw his name at the top of the casting list but now that he’d had time to let it sink in, he was swiftly losing his cool. Truly, compared to his peers in theater, his acting skills were not up to par. And knowing that Logan would be there throughout the whole thing, watching all of his blunders and fails, only made his anxiety spike more.

Roman was incredibly tempted to go to Mrs. Dot on Monday, to tell her that she made a mistake, that there was no way he could possibly pull off the lead and make her proud. But then, what would the school think of him if he did that? His reputation and confidence, everything he had built so far would crumble, and Roman thought that might hurt him more that just screwing up the musical. What would they think of him? He would once again be a loser, a helpless nobody doomed to be alone and homeless. No. No, he couldn’t let that happen. If he couldn’t back out, then he could only do one thing, and it was the one thing he did best.


	9. Chapter 7

After Patton left the next day, Roman spent the rest of his time reading and rereading the script, trying to ingrain as much of it into his brain as he could before rehearsal officially started. He already knew most of the songs, thankfully, which gave him more time to memorize his actual lines. Roman paused sometime in the afternoon to grab some lunch. As he sat eating, he paused, a sudden thought coming to him. Quickly Roman pulled out his phone and scrolled to his mom’s contact but hesitated before hitting call. She was most likely in a meeting, and Roman didn’t want to risk interrupting anything. Instead he switched over to messaging and sent her a text instead.

_To: Mom_

_Hey mom, just wanted to let you know that I tried out for the school musical and I got the lead! If you have time, maybe you could call later? Miss and love you._

Roman tried not to let himself get disappointed when he still hadn’t received an answer hours later. He knew how busy his parents got with work, but even so he couldn’t help the lonely sadness that crept up on him. He tried to distract himself with the script again, but the lines were beginning to blur together. After a quick shower he crawled into bed but was startled out of his doze by his phone buzzing. He grabbed it quickly and turned it on, frowning at the message.

_From: Mom_

_That’s great sweetie, I’m happy for you! I’m sorry but I can’t call you tonight, you understand. I’ll call when I can, mi pequeño imperio. Love you._

Roman put the phone back in his nightstand, rolled over, and went to sleep.

***

Roman found Patton waiting for him like usual on Monday. Pat looked unusually nervous, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie that he was actually wearing instead of it being tied around his shoulders. Roman was immediately concerned.

“Hey Padre, what’s wrong?” he asked. Patton nervously bit his lip.

“Are you…are you sure this is a good idea? Do you really think Virgil will say yes if I ask him to go out with me? What if he doesn’t like me?” Roman calmed slightly, he had almost forgotten about Patton asking out Virgil.

“Patton, dearest puffball, please listen. It is ultimately your decision whether or not you ask him. I will not force you into anything, nor will I let you do anything you aren’t willing or comfortable with. I can’t guarantee anything, but for what it’s worth, I really think it’ll work out. I saw how he looked at you, I don’t think he’ll say no. All I want is for you to be happy. So go get ‘em and make me proud.” Patton couldn’t help the small laugh that came out of him.

“Thanks Ro. Really.” Roman smiled too and wrapped the other in a quick hug.

“Now don’t just stand there, go find your man! I’ll meet up with you later,” Roman said and playfully shoved Patton. Patton laughed again before heading off, throwing a wave before running ahead. Roman waved back and continued on, but slower. He really hoped it worked out.

Virgil wasn’t there when Roman walked into the art room, which could only mean one of two things: either Patton had caught him before class and they were romantically discussing their feelings under the giant tree in front of the school (at least Roman wanted to think so), or things had gone horribly wrong and Virgil was either hiding, panicking, or both.

The door opened and Roman couldn’t help but flinch at the velocity with which his head whipped around. Immediately that went away as Roman felt a wide grin pull at his lips at the sight of Virgil, face ablaze under that pale foundation an awed and disbelieving expression stuck on his features. Virgil’s eyes caught his and Roman couldn’t help but wiggle his eyebrows which made Virgil glare and flip him off before making his way to his own seat. Glancing at the clock, Roman got up and slid into the seat next to Virgil’s, grin never leaving his face.

“So did you two love birds finally figure it out? When’s the date? What are you doing? My hopeless romantic heart needs all the details.” Virgil glared at him again, but Roman couldn’t help but feel that there wasn’t much heat behind it.

“It’s none of your business, Princey, bug off.”

“Oh come on, Hot Topic, I’m desperate. Indulge me.”

“Aw, you think I’m hot,” Virgil bit sarcastically. Roman’s eyes lit up.

“No offense, but you’re not really my type. Patton does though,” he grinned evilly. Roman let out a laugh as Virgil’s eyes widened and he choked but tried to cover it up as a cough.

“Fuck off,” Virgil said once he’d composed himself. He turned toward the board and didn’t say anything else. Normally he would’ve made Roman leave the seat to go back to his normal one, but this time Virgil remained silent. A genuine smile graced his lips as he too looked toward the teacher who was finally starting the lesson. Looks like his plan worked out pretty well after all.

***

Thankfully, Patton had clubs after school that day, which meant that he didn’t have to worry about Patton asking questions about why he wasn’t leaving. He waited until most of the students had cleared out of the school before he made his way back to the theater room. It was thankfully empty, which meant he had the whole space to himself. He sat his stuff down by the door before he pulled out his script and made his way to the open space. Roman figured that if he really wanted everything to go well, he needed to practice every day, before and after rehearsal, so that he couldn’t get it wrong. Official rehearsal didn’t start until the next week, but that didn’t matter. He was getting a head start.

Roman read through his lines over and over, adding different tones and inflections, various movements and steps trying to find out what worked best. He didn’t notice that it was quickly getting dark outside, or that his voice was getting hoarse. He also didn’t notice that Logan was there, watching from where he had been working with some of the tech equipment.


	10. Chapter 8

When Roman got to school the next day, incredibly exhausted and struggling to hide it, he was greeted by the sight of a shyer than usual Virgil standing next to the ever-bubbly Patton. When he glanced down, Roman noticed that their hands were intertwined. He could only muster enough energy to pull on a genuine quirk of his lips.

“Good morning Ro!” Patton shouted once Roman reached the two. Virgil jumped slightly causing Patton to give him a quick apology.

“Mornin Pat, mornin Brad Pitiful,” Roman replied, a yawn following quickly after. Immediately Patton had his dad mode on.

“Are you ok? Did you not get enough sleep?”

“I am quite alright, Padre. Merely stayed up a tad too late doing my nightly beauty routine. Nothing to worry about,” Roman said, trying not to focus on the twist of his stomach at how easily the lie slipped out. Virgil snorted from his spot and Roman turned to him.

“Something you’d like to say, incredible sulk?”

“How many of those do you even have?” Virgil asked, exasperated.

“Enough. Now, what is so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just questioning the effectiveness of your so called ‘beauty routine’ is all,” Virgil smirked. Patton let out a little gasp.

“Virgey! Be nice!” Patton scolded. Roman tried not to let Virgil’s comment bother him. After all, it was all in good fun…or so he told himself. Roman let his hand fly to his chest accompanied by an offended gasp.

“Yeah, _Virgey_. I’ll have you know that the products I own are only of the finest quality.”

“Now that’s enough you two,” Patton intervened, “Now, are you sure you’re alright Roman?” Patton asked, turning from Virgil to look at him. The sincerity within Patton’s baby blue eyes made Roman feel a little crack in his chest. That was a look that he hadn’t seen in a long time…

No. no he was fine. Roman took a deep breath to compose himself before he looked back at the two, his eyes falling anywhere but theirs.

“I’m fine. Now c’mon, we’ve gotta get to class.”

…

Lunch rolled around and Roman found Patton waiting for him by his locker. Patton seemed to be fidgeting a little, looking around awkwardly.

“Ok, what is it?” Roman asked as he started putting his stuff away. Patton jumped a little but tried to shake it off right after.

“What do you mean what is it?” Patton asked, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“You’re fidgeting and you won’t look at me, which either means you want my cookies, which you know I give you anyways, or you did something. So, what did you do?” Roman had spent enough time around. d the other to know most of his tells.

“Ok, look, just promise to not be mad? I’m sorry I didn’t ask you before but I didn’t really think about it until just now but I think this will actually really good and you know I wouldn’t force you but-” Patton was starting to ramble so Roman quickly stopped him.

“Pat, calm down. I don’t think I physically have it in me to be mad at you, but even if I did I still wouldn’t. I’m sure whatever it is won’t be that bad, this is you we’re talking about. So what is it?” Roman gave Patton a reassuring smile.

“Well, I kinda sorta…offered for us to sit with Virgil and Logan today?” Patton quickly rushed out. For a moment, Roman just froze, processing.

He took it back. It was absolutely bad.

Virgil he could have handled, he’s been doing that already. But Logan? Very smart, very pretty, very serious Logan? Roman was sure to make a fool of himself. He was already way out of Logan’s league, but that didn’t mean he needed an opportunity to prove such. But of course, he couldn’t tell any of that to Patton. He didn’t want to make the poor boy feel bad. So instead he just put on his usual smile.

“Is that all? That’s quite alright, Padre.” Patton looked visibly relieved and just like that his usual warm and welcoming smile was back on his face.

“Well then let’s go! We don’t want to keep them waiting!” Patton said and then grabbed Roman’s arm to drag him into the cafeteria.

Logan and Virgil were sitting on opposite sides of the table. Patton slid into the seat next to Virgil which left Roman to take the seat next to Logan. Roman prayed to whatever deity that may be out there that he wasn’t blushing. Regardless, Roman had an image to keep up, so he just had to squash whatever was there as far as he could until he was alone.

“Why hello there My Chemically Imbalanced Romance,” Roman started before mentally preparing and turning to Logan, “and hello to you. We haven’t had the chance to be formally introduced,” Roman paused to set down his stuff before giving a small bow, “Roman Baretta, at your service.” Logan merely looked at him with a tilt of his eyebrow, which Roman tried not to let get to him.

“Do you introduce yourself to everyone this way?” Logan asked and Roman was definitely not swooning at his low, modulated voice. Instead Roman gave his award-winning smile.

“Most of the time,” he replied and then sat down. The first thing he did was open his lunch and pull out his cookies that he immediately gave to Patton.

“Thanks Ro!” Patton said and started eating one. Despite all his attempts to stay upbeat, Roman found himself continuing to yawn throughout lunch. He engaged in the conversation as much as he could, but towards the end Patton was having none of it.

“Ro are you sure you’re ok? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired,” Patton questioned.

“Yes, Pat, as I told you before I am quite alright.”

“Are you sure it was your beauty routine that kept you up? Because it doesn’t seem like that would be enough to make you this tired,” Patton pressed. Roman felt eyes on him and when he looked over he noticed that Logan was looking him over with a scrutinizing gaze. Roman turned away to avoid his eyes, feeling uneasy at how the other seemed to see right through the lie.

“So what did you think?” Patton asked him as they walked to the theater room.

“It was fine,” Roman said.

“What did you think of Logan?” Roman startled slightly but tried to recover, hoping that Patton didn’t notice.

“What do you mean? He was ok,” Roman said, biting his lip and mentally slapping himself for how stupid it sounded. Patton had an evil smirk growing on his face and Roman knew that he most definitely did not miss anything.

“So Logan is the one that you like!” Patton squealed, obvious excitement taking over. Roman closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Patton wasn’t gonna stop until he knew every in an out and found a way to set the two up.

Oh boy.


	11. Chapter 9

Roman couldn’t concentrate no matter how hard he tried. The numbers on his page seemed to twist themselves into indecipherable codes that made no sense to him. The rest of his class worked around him, and he couldn’t help the flash of shame that flooded through him.

_I’m so stupid,_ he thought. Why couldn’t he understand what they were supposed to be doing? It shouldn’t be that hard…but of course it didn’t help that he wasn’t good at anything. There was no way he was going to pass this stupid class.

“Roman?” Roman looked up as he heard his name called by the teacher, “could you come up here for a moment?” he asked, motioning Roman towards his desk. Roman tried not to let his panic show on his face and instead plastered on smile. He got up quickly and moved to the front.

“Roman, I have to ask. Are you ok?” Mr. Nettles asked once Roman reached him. He couldn’t help the brief confusion that passed through him. Why was his teacher asking that?

“I’m fine, why do you ask?”

“I can’t help but notice that you don’t seem to be grasping this concept and you aren’t paying much attention. What’s the problem?” Concern laced his tone, slightly surprising Roman. No teachers before had cared about how he was doing in any of his classes.

“Oh, uh,” Roman hesitated. What was he supposed to say? “There’s no problem, really. I’m not normally like this,” Roman totally lied. He was always like that.

“It doesn’t seem like there’s no problem Roman, but I won’t push. However, this is a very important concept that will continue through the rest of this class and you’ll need to know it in order to pass. So I’m going to assign you a tutor, just until I know that you can do it. Does that sound reasonable?” Mr. Nettles asked. Roman bit his lip as he thought about it. On one hand, a tutor was probably incredibly necessary for him because he couldn’t have bad grades. On the other, though, what would people think about him having a tutor? Would they brand him dumb? They wouldn’t be wrong, but that would go against his entire image he built. Perhaps he could just try to keep it a secret? He really didn’t have any other options.

“Sounds great,” Roman lied, smiling through his panic, “when do I start?”

“Well, unfortunately I don’t have the time to tutor you myself, but I do have some very talented kids in this class that could do it,” Mr. Nettles paused to think, “Logan, could you come up here please?” Roman could swear he felt his heart stop. Logan came to stand on the other side of the desk.

“What can I do for you Mr. Nettles?” Logan asked.

“Would you mind tutoring Roman for the time being on this subject? He isn’t quite grasping it and I have no doubt you’ll be able to help him.”

“Of course Mr. Nettles. When would you like us to start?” Roman felt like repeatedly slamming his head against a desk until he could melt into it. How was it possible that his new tutor was going to be his very cute, very smart crush? He was doomed. Completely and utterly doomed.

“Today after school. The sooner you can catch him up, the better.” Oh for the love of all things holy could it get any worse? He couldn’t do afterschool. He had to practice after school.

“Um, does it have to be today? I have to practice today after school for the play,” Roman cut in. Before Mr. Nettles could reply, Logan spoke up.

“Nonsense. Practice already occurred during class, and after school practice doesn’t begin until next week.”

“Well, maybe but I still practice after school myself. An actor’s work is never done after all,” he tried to speak confidently, but to his own ears he just sounded ridiculous.

“I’m sorry Roman, but your tutoring will start today. The sooner you get it, the sooner you’ll be done,” Mr. Nettles said. Roman worried his lip between his teeth. He wasn’t going to make it.

***

When school ended, Roman found Patton to let him know that he had tutoring with Logan and couldn’t walk with him. Patton just smiled and pushed him away with a wink before leaving with Virgil. Roman turned around to go to the school’s library, glancing wistfully at the theater room before continuing on. When he got to the library, he immediately spotted Logan sitting at one of the tables in the corner of the room. Slowly he made his way over, trying to mentally steal himself so he wouldn’t say anything stupid.

He sat down and Logan looked up from the book he had open in front of him, focusing his piercing blue eyes on Roman. Roman gulped and pulled out his math stuff from his backpack.

“Are you ready to begin?” Logan asked. Roman pulled on his usual bright grin.

“I’m always ready, Specs,” Roman answered.

“Don’t call me that,” Logan replied, and for a moment he felt nervous but he couldn’t help himself. Nicknames were like a coping mechanism for him.

“Whatever you say, Pocket Protector.” Logan glared at him but it was totally worth it.

Logan just ignored him and started to go over the basics of the lesson. As he spoke, Roman found himself focusing on the soothing, methodical tones of Logan’s voice. Roman could listen to that voice forever. Logan’s black hair was swept back except for a single piece that fell over his eye that Roman desperately wanted to reach out and sooth back, but somehow, he refrained. His eyes flashed behind the glasses that were steadily sliding down his nose with every line that he read and then explained. Damn he had it bad.

“Roman, are you even listening to me?” Logan snapped the book in his hand shut, causing Roman to jolt in his seat. Roman realized that he’d zoned out and had been too focused on Logan to comprehend what he was saying. Roman grinned at the other sheepishly.

“Uhh, no?” he answered, though it sounded more like a question.

“You do realize that this isn’t going to work if you don’t actually put in the effort?” Roman couldn’t help the flash of hurt that went through him.

“I do put in effort!” Roman cried, “I just, have other things on my mind at the moment.”

“And what could possibly be more important than your grade?” Logan asked. Roman tried to quell the blush that he could feel rising on his cheeks, but didn’t answer. Logan let out an exasperated sigh.

“It’s the musical, isn’t it? Honestly, you get one lead part and suddenly you think you’re above it all,” Logan said, and though Roman definitely felt hurt, he also felt a wave of anger sweep through him.

“How dare you! Excuse me for caring about something!” Roman grit out.

“I don’t understand how you can care about such frivolous make believe more than your actual grades.” Roman hated how calm Logan seemed to be. That wasn’t fair.

“You listen here, Calculator watch. I practice to be perfect, because I got that role and I’ll be damned if I mess it up. Sorry that the only talent you have is having a stick up your ass, but that’s not my problem.”

“Oh really? Well if that’s it, then why did you lie to Patton?” Logan asked and Roman froze, “If all it is making sure you’re ‘perfect’, then why didn’t you tell Patton what you were doing?” Roman stood, shocked.

“And how did you know that I was there yesterday?” Roman tried to counter, but he was a little busy freaking out.

“Please, I’m head of tech. I know everything.”

“Yeah, well, what does it matter to you?” Roman asked.

“First of all, Patton and Virgil are dating, and Virgil is my best friend. By association, Patton now falls under my jurisdiction, and I plan on making sure that nothing ill falls on him. Secondly, I know that you are a pompous and arrogant fool that has no sense of self responsibility, and I severely dislike people like that.”

“You don’t know anything,” Roman sneered.

“I know everything that I need to. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe this session is over.” Logan stood and put his stuff away, walking towards the exit. Refusing to let him have the last word, Roman called out,

“Oh yeah? I’ll show you, you…you NERD!” He got no response.

Roman plopped back down into his seat, the anger leaving him just as quickly as it had shown up. Instead it was replaced by a feeling of sadness and shame so intense that felt like a punch to his gut. He was trying so hard, and yet it seemed like no matter what he did, somehow someone disliked him. He didn’t think he was arrogant…he had enough self-loathing for the whole school, and he certainly felt like everything that went wrong in his life was most definitely his fault.

Roman made his way out of the school slowly, lost in his thoughts as he walked home. He vaguely realized his face was wet and that there were silent tears dripping down his face, but he paid little though to them though. There had to be a way that he could show that he wasn’t awful while still maintaining his persona. He could do it. He _had_ to do it. He’d find a way to show Logan. He was certain of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely no self projection here...nope.  
> ...ha.....

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I've been in the Sanders Sides fandom for nearly 2 years now and have too shy to do anything until now so hello everyone.


End file.
